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TV Show: Cheers
31 WAV files
Diane: "Hello?: Sam? ...Are you Sam? Yes, he's here. Someone named Vicki."
Sam: "No, no, no."
00:12 133 Kb 709
Cliff: "I'm ashamed God made me a man."
Carla: "I don't think God's doing a lot of bragging about it either."
00:07 79 Kb 767
Diane: "Coach, what do you do when you are so furious you have to do something?"
Coach: "Well, I know you'll think it's kinda crazy, but, I, uh, I bang my head on the bar."
Diane: "Doesn't sound crazy to me, might do me lots of good right now."
Coach: "Well, Ok" {Bangs head on bar}
Diane: "No, no"
00:21 224 Kb 649
Frasier: "How could I have been so blind?"
Lilith: "Don't blame yourself."
Diane: "That's right, you can't blame anyone in these situations."
Carla: "He can blame you."
00:11 87 Kb 672
Coach: "How come you and Vera never had any kids?"
Norm: I can't coach."
Coach: Gee, I'm sorry Norm."
Norm: I look at Vera, I just can't."
00:10 111 Kb 677
Frasier: "Come on, Norm, why don't you just give up? You're finished."
Woody: "Well, not necessarily, he could move this piece over to here."
Frasier: "My God, Woody, that's brilliant. You're suggesting that after two futile inter-positions, an attempt to force unobstructed access to the eighth rank."
Woody: "Well, no, I'm saying you should take your horsey with his little pointy head -- No not that one!"
Frasier: "Too late, checkmate...Ha Ha Ha, good game Norm."
00:28 221 Kb 671
Sam: "Well, I think that's everybody."
John: "Sam?"
Sam: "Well, almost everybody."
John: "Well Sam, I see you monkeys have discovered fire. Would you like to come upstairs and see the damage at Melvilles?"
Sam: "Ya know, why not, it might even cheer me up."
00:25 529 Kb 651
Coach: "What I'd do was, I'd get up there and lean my body into the pitch, right, and well sometimes I took one right in the old melon, but, I, I mean, I really made a science out of it, I became a master, well here, try to miss me."
Diane: "Aww"
Coach: "You ready? Ok, here we go."
Diane: "I'm not going to get it anywhere near him."
Sam: "That's the whole point."
{Bonking Sound}
Diane: {Gasp}
Coach: "On my way to base!"
00:36 391 Kb 638
Coach: "Cheers. Yeah, just a sec. Is there an Ernie Pantusso here?"
Sam: "That's you coach."
Coach: "Speaking."
00:08 179 Kb 703
Coach: "Damn this thing, I've been shivering all the way over here."
Diane: "Well, Coach, you don't have a coat on, it's 30 degrees outside."
Coach: "Oh, thank God, I thought I had malaria."
00:11 122 Kb 606
Sam: "Hey, what's happening Norm?"
Norm: "Well, it's a dog eat dog world Sammy, and I'm wearing milkbone underwear."
00:05 55 Kb 777
Woody: {makes bombing noises}
Frasier: "Woody, I refuse to continue playing if every time you take one of my pieces you go {makes bombing noises}"
Woody: "I'm sorry, Dr. Crane, I thought it added a little bit of excitement to the game."
Frasier: "Well, it doesn't. Ok Woody. You know I think it's time we took off the glasses. I've allowed you to defeat me several times because I was going easy on you so as not to crush your natural enthusiasm. But I think it's time you took a giant step toward maturity. There are a great many lessons to be learned in defeat. Chief among them is how to lose gracefully."
Woody: "Checkmate"
Frasier: {Yells}
Woody: "Is this my king? {more bombing noises}"
00:56 436 Kb 697
Carla: "Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience."
00:06 48 Kb 632
Woody: "Hey Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?"
Norm: "Yeah, now let's get Joe Beer nippin at my liver."
00:06 60 Kb 664
Woody: "What's going on Mr. Peterson?"
Norm: "Let's talk about what's going in Mr. Peterson."
00:04 42 Kb 611
Frasier: "Woody, you must be an idiot savant."
Woody: "Yeah, but I cover it by smiling a lot."
00:09 73 Kb 620
Norm: "See you in the morning, I guess, eh?"
Sam: "Yeah, I may be a little late."
Norm: "Aw, that's ok, I had a key made."
00:07 74 Kb 591
Woman: "This is the part I don't get."
Carla: "Ya know, there's something about him, I mean, he knows women, like a jeweler knows jewels, like a meat cutter knows meat."
Loretta: "Like a marine biologist knows marines."
00:24 186 Kb 623
Sam: "You are the nuttiest, the stupid, the phoniest fruitcake I ever met."
Diane: "You, Sam Malone, are the most arrogant, self-centered --"
Sam: "Shut Up! Shut your fat mouth."
Diane: "Make me."
Sam: "Make you? My God, I'm, I'm gonna, I"m gonna bounce you off every wall in this office."
Diane: "Try it and you'll be walking funny tomorrow, or shall I say funnier."
Sam: "You know, you know I always wanted to pop you one, maybe this is my lucky day huh?"
Diane: "You disgust me, I hate you."
Sam: "Are you as turned on as I am?"
Diane: "More."
00:37 400 Kb 647
Man: "What's up Norm?"
Norm: "My nipples, it's freezing out there."
00:04 46 Kb 725
Everyone: "Norm!"
00:02 19 Kb 756
Doctor: "Sam, Diane, you two are perfect together. But, but why am I telling you this? Let's, let's share it with the rest of the world, shall we? Hear this world, the rest of you can stop getting married now, it's been done to perfection. Envy them sofa, envy them chair, for you shall never be as cozy as they, for I guarantee that their marriage will be a total epoch shattering success, and I stake my life on it. Wait, let, let me put that on record. I, Dr. Simon Finch-Roik, being of sound mind, declare that Sam and Diane shall be together throughout all eternity, and if I am wrong, I hereby promise that I will take my own life in the most disgusting manner possible. Here, take this tape, no, no, no, take the whole machine, it's my wedding gift to you, to you, the most perfect couple since the dawn of time!"
Diane: "See?"
01:18 612 Kb 614
Carla: "I cannot let any man touch me, talk to me, or see me, or I'll be shooting out kids like a pez dispenser."
00:09 97 Kb 622
Diane: "Very well, I've arrived at my objective opinion. This is one of the most amateurish, hackneyed, odeous pieces of effluvium ever to wash down the pipe. Listen to this dribble. I fly through a puckish arena where echoes dance, where echoes dance, where echoes dance. Sounds familiar."
Norm: "Well, you said it three times."
00:31 239 Kb 626
Frasier: "Hello in there, Cliff. Tell me, what color is the sky in your world."
00:05 55 Kb 694
Norm: "You can't go sneaking out nights on somebody you love. Woody, you have to believe that truth and --"
Carla: "Norm, it's Vera."
Norm: "I'm not here -- honesty are the cornerstones of a ..."
00:09 95 Kb 623
Sam: "What are you up to Norm?"
Norm: "My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."
00:06 125 Kb 676
Coach: "Yeah, a beautiful school teacher."
Diane: "And Sam is her favorite?"
Coach: "Well, I can't say that, but Sam's the only one I ever saw her kiss."
Diane: "They kissed?!?"
Coach: "Yeah, I saw them smooching in the parking lot. I was putting up a notice here on the bulletin board."
Diane: "With probing tongues?"
Coach: "No Diane, with a thumbtack and my thumb."
00:36 278 Kb 627
Norm: "Guys, uh, listen, I'm having a slight problem with the damn bird, alright?"
Diane: "What color is it now Norman?"
Norm: "Well, I think we're moving into the Earth tones."
{musical interlude}
Carla: "This better be good news Norm."
Norm: "Look, uh, I'm sorry guys, the little pop thing won't pop out, there's something wrong with it, I --"
Carla: "There's something wrong with you."
Norm: "I think something's wrong with your oven, Carla."
Carla: "Hey, my oven was just fine until you stuffed birdzilla in it."
00:30 239 Kb 623
The Cheers Theme Song
01:03 676 Kb 801
Carla: "Frasier, you're brilliant, that is one of these most brilliant ideas you've ever had, and you've had a lot of brilliant ideas."
Frasier: "Thank you Carla."
Carla: "See Woody, it works, bonehead bought it."
00:11 117 Kb 610
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